tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42910269751175837212024-03-21T09:19:07.989-07:00Bloggo DavidTheWritersDenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11906707226438261959noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4291026975117583721.post-66223866602069843862015-09-26T09:37:00.000-07:002015-09-26T09:50:46.605-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiFX8mzviP6sQUUks62nUJG7xoeG-a29mtB7UAE_d00A4ZCONoX6vfpU-b_9Sua7Vd3ajfupT7cet96-ZiEBGhImcvn47UfX3Cz08FqoyITU1xKJtFNsUwnRYO92wQFDJJjYpgu0NwXtaH/s1600/DIY.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiFX8mzviP6sQUUks62nUJG7xoeG-a29mtB7UAE_d00A4ZCONoX6vfpU-b_9Sua7Vd3ajfupT7cet96-ZiEBGhImcvn47UfX3Cz08FqoyITU1xKJtFNsUwnRYO92wQFDJJjYpgu0NwXtaH/s1600/DIY.jpg" /></a></div>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">
</h4>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">W</span>e
all do it. We sit down at the desk, turn on the computer, stare at the
cursor (It should be spelled CURSE-or, actually …) and then start
fiddling with things around the desk: pencils, paper clips, staplers,
etc. Then we usually get up and go to the fridge because all that
sitting and staring produces hunger enzymes.<br />
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
So if we are going to procrastinate, let’s do it right: </div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
•
If you REALLY want to waste time, log on to Facebook, Twitter, or
Google Plus. I know you think it helps get work done, but no. It
doesn’t. </div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
•
For added exercise, stock your fridge with expensive ice creams, for
those days when nothing’s going on via the blank page. This will not
help with your work, but ice cream is always a good thing, and a couple
of jogs to the kitchen every ten minutes won't kill you. </div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
•
Write near a window. This way you can crane your neck to see the
attractive neighbor, watch people cross the street, or check the weather
every few minutes. </div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
•
The radio: blasting AC/DC or NPR will probably only fry your nerves,
but it’s a good distraction from that shitty scene you are writing. </div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
•
Keep your cell phone close. You never know when someone annoying may
call about something stupid and throw you off your rhythm completely. <span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">Having
chats with best friends about everything and nothing is often very
useful in this regard; or even random calls to people you barely have
time for on a day to day basis.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
•
For pure procrastinative effect, always have your cute dog in the room
to play with, or yell at. Having loud friends over produces the same
effect. Whichever floats your boat.</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
•
Start flipping through old useless projects – they start to look pretty
good after the sewage you’ve been currently writing. Then close your
current WIP and start working on the old one. This always induces mass
time wastage! </div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
•
The internet: oh yes. Always have it on. Always check if you have
messages. Always always always. For pure time-screwage, this is key!</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
•
Start dusting your office – because you think this will clear away the
cobwebs and you’ll start a sentence soon after. Usually this only
induces sneezing and spasmodic coughing and self-loathing.</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
• Start writing a blog post about how you waste time procrastinating by writing blog posts. </div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
•
Always have a television nearby. This will maximize your no-work
ethic. Tell yourself you need a break and watch a little Jersey Shore
for renewed perspective. Make sure the TV is facing directly at you, or
placed so you can see it with little effort. Volume must always be at
mid or upper-mid-range to maximize distraction.</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
• Start reading a book. Preferably a recognized classic so you’ll really get that self-doubting engrained! </div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
• Cookies, crackers, peanuts must always be within reach. And a Rubik’s cube. Hell, keep a Paint-by-Numbers set handy!</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
•
Go do your laundry. Because clean clothes might help the old synapses
start firing! This works with showering, as well. You might want to
wash your hands every ten minutes, too. Fingernail clipping is
recommended, especially when you stare at your own fingers for too long
and get disgusted. </div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
•
Get showered, dressed, grab a pen and paper, head downtown to your
favorite coffee shop, order a Triple Mocha Frappucino and a Biscotti,
find a cozy spot in the back, and then start chatting with the waitress
or whoever is around because your mind is completely distracted by all
the activity. This is usually the best way to avoid looking at your
manuscript for extended periods of time. </div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
•
Lastly, if you truly want to avoid writing for the day, watch ‘Road
House’ with Patrick Swayze. This will make you wonder why your
manuscripts have been rejected and this got made into a major motion
picture starring Ben Gazzara, thus sending you into a self-doubting
tailspin. (Note: this may work conversely – it may make you believe you
are Shakespeare in comparison, which is a good thing)</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
TheWritersDenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11906707226438261959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4291026975117583721.post-55915539936865219162013-12-24T09:04:00.000-08:002016-07-20T18:04:46.866-07:00A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS TALE <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "jd carnival black"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYhOdno_3NsPUWGQuAc9pP8mkWoYtnt8VrrbkV_seSCwED99GeDIHaGrEP9Gq1iwQImNrxbtOvYrVUoyllhl5uROy19iD8Q-7O5SxGFa-VdjyLDxaC6Fvga8SZj50c7fBGBqdU5mOIgM3q/s1600/Chuck+the+fle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "jd carnival black"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By David Hunter </span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "jd carnival black"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivgQFhJ4TZy5YbjFk_TWwazfqVGlKQ9iTjfvMcGjWrD-1_ZbQ0N_9aVAU-dwfIPutI9W-zi3sDVsKPejo9i54mt9cYEW21kgbeuHWWiA5vELH7PGfVzrO4-0gcS38L-s3jpxmub4JrzJ_p/s1600/Chuck+the+fle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivgQFhJ4TZy5YbjFk_TWwazfqVGlKQ9iTjfvMcGjWrD-1_ZbQ0N_9aVAU-dwfIPutI9W-zi3sDVsKPejo9i54mt9cYEW21kgbeuHWWiA5vELH7PGfVzrO4-0gcS38L-s3jpxmub4JrzJ_p/s320/Chuck+the+fle.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "jd carnival black"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I </span><span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">was born in the Bronx way back in 1902. </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">St. Anne’s orphanage was
the only home I ever knew till I went north years later. The place was crazy; a
lotta little midgets running around makin’ a lotta noise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess I was one of ‘em, except I was no
midget – I was an elf.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stayed in that
place for 30 years until they figured out I wasn’t no kid! So I packed my shit
up and hit the road. I joined the army for a while, got into some action at
Omaha Beach even. After dat, I never trucked with the military much.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I joined the circus for a
while – but the bearded lady and I didn’t get along. The fact was, I couldn’t stand
life on the road livin’ wit all them freaks – I was longing for a fambly, if
you get my meanin’. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One night, Christmas Eve if
you gotta know - I was on the roof of my tenement building because my landlady
didn’t like my cigar smoke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She always smelled it through the vents and complained so I went up on the roof. I was
feeling lonesome as hell too, wit the snow fallin’ and all streets quiet and
empty. To be honest, I crawled out on the ledge. I was thinkin’ of just ending
it. I was just a lowly Elf, livin’ off racetrack bets and scroungin’ for
handouts. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was a Bronx kid, though.
I couldn’t do it. Plus, that street looked like it could hurt a guy real bad
falling from dat height.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I went back on the roof and
finished my stogie, lookin’ up at the twinklin’ snowy sky. It was damned cold. I
never felt so bad in my whole life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I saw sumpin’ then, over
the East River. Looked like plane or some kinda flying object. I tracked it for
a while and realized it was comin’ right towards me! I ran back and ducked
behind a ventilator shaft. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I heard bells, and some guy
yelling. I heard da soft thump of somethin’ landing. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now don’t get me wrong – I ain’t
no pansy or nuthin’ – but this was strange. I can deal with stormin’ a
beachhead and all, but the unknown always unnerves me, y’know? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I peeked around the corner an
I saw animals or somthin’, shakin’ snow off themselves. Everytime they did
that, bells would jingle. There was some fat shmoe sittin’ in a red sled too. All
of a sudden I hear my name! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Charles! Charles! Come out
from behind there!” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There was a silence as I
was trying to figure out what to do. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Who wants ta know?” I said
after a while.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I peeked over my hiding
spot and saw the lard-ass comin’ towards me. He was big – triple my size – but I
figured if I bit his knee caps the odds would be evened out. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He stuck his head around
the vent, and stared right at me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Charles! I found you!” he
said. He had dis soppy smile on his face, what you could see of it anyway with
that friggin’ large white beard. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Listen Mack …” I started
to say. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Charles! You must come
with me! You don’t belong here. You belong up at the North Pole with the
others!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I looked at dis guy and
thought he was nuts. “You shittin’ me?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He straightened up and
crinkled his nose. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m afraid I’m not! You
are an Elf, of the elfus smallicus genus. All my staff up at the North Pole is
comprised of Elves. You see, you were given up for adoption by mistake. Due to your transient nature we couldn't locate you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I looked up at the guy, and
I could see he was tellin’ da truth. Others like me? Elves? For true?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dat was the one and only
time I cried – at least since that time I crapped my pants back at the Orphanage
and the sister swatted me a good one. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Come! You can help me give
out presents tonight, then we can take you home,” he said. He wedged his large
ass back into the sled, and I followed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
wasn’t much space between his girth and all them sacks’a toys for me to sit,
but I managed. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He tole me about his toy
making racket and all the right-offs he got for it. Pretty slick, I had to
agree. We shot up inna sky and I was dubious about them moose things haulin’ us
up into the stratosphere and all, but they maintained a good speed, except for
the turbulence which I didn’t care for. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">All night long we delivered
them friggin toys, all over the damned world. I was so tired by the end, I
thought I’d collapse. But this guy, Santa, he had a mini bar in his sled and I
had a few shots of whiskey. We delivered our last toy to some kid in Montana –
a train set. We went down the chimney (I still couldn’t get over goin’ down
them tings!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was placin’ it under the
tree when I heard a noise. I look over and see the kid peeking around the
corner at me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ain’t polite to stare,
kid,” I said. “Murry Christmas.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Da kid scampered off. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Not even ten minutes into
our journey north I was out like a light. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So, I went to the North
Pole. I met my mom! Saw all the udder elves like me. It was a happy homecoming,
I gotta say. Still, I miss New York sometimes, even though I visit occasionally.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I miss the smell of the Hudson, the rude
people, the street vendors selling junk, Coney Island hot dogs, the racetrack,
all of it. But it ain’t so bad up here; got lotsa snow, plenty of fresh air,
and the pay is good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Made foreman a few
years ago; I’m in charge of making them iPad thingies. Big responsibility. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The uniforms could use some revamping, but y’can’t
have everything, am I right? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I guess I didn’t do so bad
after all, y’know? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "typewriter" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->TheWritersDenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11906707226438261959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4291026975117583721.post-26692432984748583662013-02-04T08:48:00.001-08:002016-07-20T21:27:11.565-07:00The Underwood Effect: A Modern Parable About Old Technology<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6NRdbH5nM4zX533r0wRPWlXAHSXPjASMn3bTbu78kSTe-Qp0UHIMT2jPSYkPv0BECglfnb7sJWD15F0cbCdjK26jWAtcJe1U6LMYsGfkRyKWh_e7CFGIdMXI49N76SUtWzt0FxNJDqfk0/s1600/Bloggogogog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6NRdbH5nM4zX533r0wRPWlXAHSXPjASMn3bTbu78kSTe-Qp0UHIMT2jPSYkPv0BECglfnb7sJWD15F0cbCdjK26jWAtcJe1U6LMYsGfkRyKWh_e7CFGIdMXI49N76SUtWzt0FxNJDqfk0/s640/Bloggogogog.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<h2 class="post-title entry-title" itemprop="name" style="text-align: left;">
</h2>
<div class="post-header">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<i><br />
</i><br />
Me and Jeff were sitting around one night working on our movie script
when he suddenly stopped typing and looked at me rather quizzically. <br />
<br />
“Tonight I shall forego technology” he announced. He got up and walked
out of the room. Minutes later he returned with a large object in his
arms.<br />
<br />
“What the hell is that?” I asked. <br />
<br />
“This,” he grunted, because the thing was a monstrosity, “Is a No. 2 Underwood. Year of manufacture: 1955.” <br />
<br />
“And what do you propose to do with that thing?”<br />
<br />
“I am attempting to channel the spirit of writers past; Kerouac,
Steinbeck, Hemingway. Can’t you feel it? The literary ghosts abound
tonight,” he tapped a few of the keys and they made dull thudding noises
that echoed off the walls. “Technology is a crutch. Dropping oneself
back into a more primitive abyss is healthier for the mind.” <br />
<br />
‘Hey man, whatever floats your boat” I said. <br />
<br />
I went back to my Microsoft Word document hoping I could regain the flow
I had lost. I was soon immersed in act two of our script, ‘The Last
Death of Juan Diego’ when I noticed that Jeff hadn’t written anything
yet. He was sitting at his No. 2 Underwood, staring at it. <br />
<br />
“Problem, Jeff?” <br />
<br />
He scratched his head for a while before replying. <br />
<br />
“I think this thing needs ribbon. I’ll be right back …” he dashed off
up the stairs. I could hear him making his way up to his parent’s
attic. He was back not long afterward with some spools of ribbon that I
assumed were for the Underwood.<br />
I tried to ignore all the fussing and cursing Jeff was doing getting that ribbon in, and tried to focus on the script.<br />
<br />
<i>VO: Juan was dead. He had died a long time ago, but still walked the
Earth; his eternal damnation for the murder of his friend Sanchez …</i><br />
<br />
“Shit!” <br />
<br />
<i>It had been an accident, or so he told himself. They both had been in love with the same woman, Maria Pacifica Ramirez ….</i><br />
<br />
“Come on you whore…” <br />
<br />
I looked up from my script, and saw Jeff trying valiantly to install the
typewriter ribbon without causing damage to the machine. His face was
the color of plums. <br />
<br />
“Ah! There we go!” he said, smiling. The shift from complete anger to happiness was comical.<br />
<br />
“Will you actually be writing now?” I said. <br />
<br />
“Of course … I was just putting in some fresh ribbon” <br />
<br />
“Fresh?”<br />
<br />
“Relatively fresh.” He said. He sat down in front of the Underwood
again. He started hunting around for some paper to feed into the thing.
<br />
<br />
“Ahem,” I grunted. I pointed over to the shelf, where sat a sheaf of photocopy paper.<br />
<br />
I turned my attention to the script again: <br />
<br />
Act Two, Scene One: <br />
<br />
<i>Juan Diego is walking through the desert somewhere in the American
Southwest. He lost his horse in a shoot-out with the Federales and now
is on the run. Up ahead, almost to the horizon, he sees a band of men
on horseback, headed straight for him. He pushes his Serape aside, and
un-holsters his pistol … </i><br />
<br />
THUD<br />
<br />
THUD THUD<br />
<br />
THUDTHUD THUDTHUDTHUD Thud<br />
<br />
For a moment I was confused by the sound, but it was the damn
typewriter. It sounded like someone was getting punched in the face
because it was echoing through Jeff’s wooden desk.<br />
<br />
THUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUD --<br />
<br />
“SHIT!” he yelled. <br />
<br />
I sighed, “What now?” <br />
<br />
“Typo. We got any … what’s it called …?”<br />
<br />
I told him it was called ‘white-out’ and that it was in the desk drawer.
He rooted through the drawer for a few moments before he found it in
the back. He was all happy again. <br />
<br />
“Are you feeling the Kerouac vibes yet?” I said.<br />
<br />
He ignored me, except to say “Oh ye of little faith” <br />
<br />
I looked at my Word Doc, and felt the flow had dissolved. I went
outside on the front porch to have a beer and take in the night air.
Kerouac? Was he kidding? How anyone could write on one of those
contraptions was beyond me. I soon forgot about Jeff and his nostalgic
leanings, and looked up at the stars. Orion’s Belt was visible … so was
Arcturus, the Great Bear …<br />
<br />
THUD THUD THUD<br />
<br />
That damn Underwood again. <br />
<br />
THUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTTHUD<br />
<br />
I swear, they should melt every last one of those things down and turn them into Coke cans or something ….<br />
<br />
Suddenly the typing stopped again. It remained quiet for some time, until I got curious and decided to wander back in.<br />
<br />
Jeff was still seated at the Underwood, staring. When I got closer, I
saw that he had one finger trapped between the K and L keys. He had
notoriously fat fingers, so I assumed he couldn’t get them out.<br />
<br />
“Can you see if there’s any butter in the refrigerator? “ He said sheepishly.<br />
<br />
After searching the fridge and finding no trace of butter or margarine, I
returned solemnly to Jeff with a bottle of Ketchup. He took one look at
the bottle and sighed.<br />
<br />
I managed to apply said Catsup between the keys and his fingers with a
cotton swab, and all the while Jeff is moaning that the Underwood was
being ruined, that Hemingway never got his fingers caught in his
typewriter, and that he was a worthless hack who would never get
published and didn’t deserve to be called a writer. I told him to hold
still or I’d leave him there stuck to the Underwood until all that was
left was his skeletal remains. <br />
<br />
“There, try it now” I said, looking at the keys awash in ketchup. He
tried tugging his finger gently, but nothing happened; Still stuck.<br />
<br />
“You have to put some effort into it, man” I said. I grabbed his wrist
and yanked. Jeff produced a sound similar to a walrus giving birth. <br />
<br />
Now I was angry. I picked up the damned typewriter.<br />
<br />
“What are you doing?” Jeff asked nervously.<br />
<br />
“Hold still” <br />
<br />
I yanked back on the thing and it unexpectedly let go, causing me to
careen backwards where I promptly and unintentionally sent the No. 2
Underwood sailing through the window and, to my surprise, through the
windshield of his father’s Buick Century. The crash of glass echoed up
and down the quiet suburban street; lights flicked on, people came out
to stand at their front doors. It was like a scene from that old
twilight Zone episode ‘The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street.’<br />
<br />
We stood at the window frame and looked down. There, in the front seat
of the Buick sat Jeff’s beloved Underwood. It was no worse for wear. I
had hoped it would be destroyed beyond repair. No such luck. <br />
<br />
Ten minutes later Jeff had retrieved the infernal machine and placed it
back in the attic, where it belonged. He came back into the room
quietly, and opened up his laptop. His eyes dilated. <br />
<br />
“What happened to the ‘primitive abyss’?” I asked. <br />
<br />
He never answered me. He was busy checking his e-mail.
TheWritersDenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11906707226438261959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4291026975117583721.post-6414534843289921282013-01-30T10:21:00.002-08:002013-01-30T10:30:14.320-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><a href="http://bloggodavid.blogspot.ca/2013/01/recently-i-met-with-sasha-jackson.html"><span style="font-family: "Cooper Black","serif"; font-size: 26.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Finish Something, Dammit! </span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267"> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:200%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style> <![endif]--></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
Recently I met with Sasha Jackson Mysteries author Jill Edmondson at a nice little pub in downtown Toronto. She gave me a few words of sage advice: Shit or Get off the Pot. Which is a nice way of saying ‘Why aren’t you published yet, numb-nuts’? <br />
<br />
I don’t know why either. I could take a guess though: <br />
<br />
Am I not good enough? <br />
<br />
Nah. I’ve seen worse writers get pubbed. <br />
<br />
Am I afraid?<br />
<br />
Nope. I love people reading my stuff. <br />
<br />
Do I really have anything ‘finished’ to submit? <br />
<br />
Er … <br />
<br />
You see, unless you really finish something, you can’t very well send it off, can you? And by finish I mean polished, burnished, shining, clean; when that sucker’s done like dinner and ready to eat. Or read. <br />
<br />
And unless you start showing people that you have been finishing your work, you start to get that stench of a writer who’s not really a writer. You’re just saying you are. <br />
<br />
In my case, my brain goes a mile a minute, and focus is at a premium. I hop from story to story, hoping to finish something, anything, instead of just finishing one thing. One thing, that’s all that matters. Like Curly the Cowboy once said.<br />
<br />
With that in mind, I actively started looking into short story anthology submissions, and lo and behold, I got into one. It’s called Passion’s Prism, and I wrote a short and comedic little romance thing for it. Not usually my thing, but I thought, what the hell, you know? <br />
<br />
Cue the euphoria! <br />
<br />
Short story contests, anthologies, it’s all good. And it motivates, lemme tell you. And that takes the pressure off my finishing a novel, which is also a good thing.<br />
. <br />
Also, you’ll notice the newish blog of mine. It’s still needs tweaking, but I like it. You’ll still find writing articles here, but I’ll also be posting experimental shorts and other things. Maybe strange things. <br />
<br />
So, go finish something, dammit. And make it good. <br />
<br />
Note: Thanks to <a href="http://jilledmondson.com/">Jill Edmondson</a> and Jason Kemp for the much needed motivation! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />TheWritersDenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11906707226438261959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4291026975117583721.post-13456738951619908592012-09-11T09:48:00.000-07:002012-09-11T09:49:08.654-07:00<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://bloggodavid.blogspot.ca/2012/09/september-11th-2001-vignettes-i-t-is.html"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">September 11th, 2001 || Vignettes</span></span></a></h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></span></h2>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY9lkGE0OYofo7D-N4ILbIHMOf-AyjXJTNk9zVGSo_VEk1ouo_FY29MNVz7ZphvdAvyt9BzT1JlQTvlbWQEJH_-KSrF7Y8CR8jx7Cn-nMwARaQ5UyECmuw4vDBGh-dYVTXMW5tPHBwgGTg/s1600/groundzerounderworld460.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="417" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY9lkGE0OYofo7D-N4ILbIHMOf-AyjXJTNk9zVGSo_VEk1ouo_FY29MNVz7ZphvdAvyt9BzT1JlQTvlbWQEJH_-KSrF7Y8CR8jx7Cn-nMwARaQ5UyECmuw4vDBGh-dYVTXMW5tPHBwgGTg/s640/groundzerounderworld460.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I</span>t is an existential truism that we are all looking for meaning in things: life, death, lost loves, the existence of God, and even two planes crashing into a building.</span></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I’m not sure what I can derive from that last one.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">When it’s all said and done, like World War Two and the JFK assassination, millions of words will have been written and billions of thoughts expounded questioning why this happened, and what it all means.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">9 years on, those questions still linger.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The fact is, the terrorists knew that those Towers represented wealth and prosperity, that they were a symbol of New York and all it stood for: reaching for the sky, being the biggest, the tallest, the best. And if they could hurt you in any way, they’d do it by destroying what you love most, the thing that is most enduring and endearing, the legacy, If only to strike fear into you. Because nothing strikes fear into a person like seeing something so permanent and irreplaceable, something they love, be destroyed so senselessly.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">This is the mandate of the terrorist.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">* * * * * * * *</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Watching the first building fall, I was aghast. At the time I had no idea the members of the NYFD had marched in there to save lives.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I am ashamed to admit, I was the first to chastise these guys for going in there. Surely they knew that structure could topple on them, that they might not come out alive. They had wives. They had children. What were they thinking? It dawned on me that these were the kind of guys who put their lives on the line every day, without hesitation. They probably went in there bent on saving every single person in that building, because who else was gonna do it? And I wonder, would I have had the courage to do that?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Every one of those guys … I cannot express how I feel about them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">* * * * * * * *</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The image is indelible: the iconic New York Attitude.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It’s no wonder a lot of us cried. Seeing burly NY cops and Firefighters weeping, exhausted, faces smudged with dust and grime. These guys didn’t sleep; they had a job to do. Accounts from the time document that some of these guys had to be told to go home. They had been on the job for days. Emotional and physically wrecked, they soldiered on.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Those tough New Yorkers. Even there in the streets with billowing concrete dust obscuring their vision, faces ghost-like, they stand before the television cameras and talk to the media. They appear strong, stoic, as is their wont. I can see that, for the benefit of the television audience glued to their sets, that these people are putting on a brave face. No one wants to cry in front of other people, especially a whole<i> nation</i> of people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">* * * * * * * *</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Monday, September 11th, 2001</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">We’re parked at the side of Britannia road E. in Toronto, just in front of a runway at Pearson International Airport which ends beyond the large fence. It’s 9:30 PM, and the car is filled with the smell of Tim Horton’s coffee. We’re chatting quietly, but there isn’t much to say. We came out here on a whim because we couldn’t believe all air traffic in North America had been shut down. The gravity of it hits us, but we don’t cry. Guys won’t cry in front of other guys.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">* * * * * * * *</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">America, New York, the World Trade Towers; as a Canadian they are almost an abstract thing. I eventually went to Manhattan years later, in 2006, visited Ground Zero even; Just a hole in the ground by then; no match for seeing those magnificent edifices in real time, rising into the sky. Only faded news clips, and old films are left. Man on Wire, the documentry about Philippe Petit, the man who wire-walked across the towers, I watch it and it makes me teary, I’ll admit. He felt a love for those buildings that was almost metaphysical. In 2001, these things were still an abstraction to me. I sat in that car at the airport watching the silent night skies, sipping my coffee, and wondering what it was all about. Almost ten years later, I still am at a loss for the meaning of it all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">* * * * * * * *</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">On a personal level, I never understood the terrorist mandate. I never understood how you could take a plane full of innocent people and then proceed to fly it into a building filled with more innocent people. My soul could not, and cannot, comprehend it. Cold blooded, cold blooded … and what’s more, I keep putting myself in that building; I’m there, I can’t help it. I want to know what those people felt when they knew their lives were going to end, when they opened up their cell phones and started calling out to people they loved. I wonder about those last messages. How do you say goodbye like that? How do you toss yourself from the window of a 110 story building? How do you march into a building as a firefighter knowing you may not walk out again, see the blue sky again, hold your kids or kiss your wife again?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">* * * * * * * *</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">9 years later, the only meaning I can gather from any of this is, live life while it’s good, be happy, be alive, stop and smell the flowers once in a while, and remember the people of 9/11, lest we forget. || David Hunter</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i>Originally posted in 2010</i></span><br />
<br />TheWritersDenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11906707226438261959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4291026975117583721.post-7792927741812506382012-09-06T10:04:00.000-07:002012-09-06T10:04:33.185-07:00<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://bloggodavid.blogspot.ca/2012/09/the-extraordinary-life-of-inanimate.html"><span style="font-size: x-large;">The Extraordinary Life of Inanimate Objects</span></a></h2>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdQgI1Jp7NLG1IxbpEcxXPCTEpwXlQjqUY206OEC6F-3AVK6GzlqS_FpMhigFkz5O52t6hBC5pHZQFgg5N6L6lN1i17eSG8kFgsKwZ1qBCxyqV49NwjmUz01gmYZsE5Q5kGJo70ORAW-l1/s1600/CrushedLight+002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdQgI1Jp7NLG1IxbpEcxXPCTEpwXlQjqUY206OEC6F-3AVK6GzlqS_FpMhigFkz5O52t6hBC5pHZQFgg5N6L6lN1i17eSG8kFgsKwZ1qBCxyqV49NwjmUz01gmYZsE5Q5kGJo70ORAW-l1/s640/CrushedLight+002.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
In 1997 I was working a construction job re-enforcing foundations, which requires a lot of digging. Six feet down I found this Crush bottle from 1957 (it says so right on the back).<br />
<br />
My guess is it had been part of the landfill for the building back in the 50’s, because not only did I find the Crush bottle, but plates, cups, smoking pipes, and various eating utensils. Was Mel’s Diner buried down there? <br />
<br />
I also found a human Femur bone, but that’s another story.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I rescued the thing, and have kept it ever since. I often hold it in my hand and wonder who drank from it and then discarded it only to buried in the foundation of a building for 40 years so I could dig it up and look at it. <br />
<br />
And so, little Crush bottle, you’re back in the sunlight. By the way, what flavor were you? (It doesn’t say). <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />TheWritersDenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11906707226438261959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4291026975117583721.post-6943398435151172742012-08-29T21:10:00.000-07:002015-09-26T09:06:53.181-07:00<div class="mtl fbDocument">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The Old Man in Waiting</span></h2>
<br />
<b>T</b>he first time I ever
considered the fact that I would be old someday was when I met Gordon
Burns. We shared part of a house in the North York district of Toronto
some time ago, in the early 1990’s. He was 73, I was 22.<br />
<br />
Gordon was tallish, wore big thick glasses, and walked with a slight
stoop-shouldered gait. He ate soup and crackers every day, and
grumbled about the economy, the weather, people, you name it.
Sometimes I’d get so angry with his negativity that I’d leave the room
politely. But most of the time I’d sit there and pick his brain about
things, and he’d talk about his life, his family, and the war.<br />
<br />
Yes, he was a war veteran; stormed the beach at Juno with the
Scottish Essex Regiment. He bragged about how they fought all the way
up into the Scheldt Estuary and freed the Dutch. After the war he
stayed in England for three years and fell in love with a girl – but he
decided to come back home to Canada; the worst decision of his life,
he told me.<br />
<br />
He’d shake his head, “Her father offered me his business. I should have stayed.”<br />
<br />
The War, it seemed, was a big part of him, as I found out. Even
though he said he didn’t like to talk about it, he usually did. I
still tell people about his adventures; how he lied about his age to
join the war effort, for one. How he came across the bodies of German
soldiers that had turned black after death. How he took command of his
unit because their Sergeant had fled and left them there behind enemy
lines fighting off a German platoon, stuck in a barn for three days
before re-enforcements could arrive, and how they survived on the
sausages and old tomato preserves. He told me he woke up in the middle
of a dead sleep to the heart-chilling whistle of an 88MM shell, and
got up just in time to open the barn doors to let it pass out the other
side though a window, saving everyone’s life. And, how only he and
two other men in his unit survived those first chaotic and hellish days
on Juno beach, with bullets whistling past his ears and gut-churning
noise everywhere. He said he never attempted to make friends in the
Army again after that.<br />
<br />
“Were you scared?” I asked him once. I know it was a silly
question, but I often wondered how it would feel to go to war, knowing
you most likely will die, knowing it wasn’t a game of play tag that was
going on; that the guy in the machine gun nest with the gun means to
shoot me dead in my tracks.<br />
<br />
“I was too busy to be scared. I just ran like hell,” he said,
soberly. “A lot of guys just hid behind the hedgehogs on the beach
crying for their mothers. Most of those guys died.”<br />
<br />
When he wasn’t talking about the War, he was complaining about
everything under the sun. He complained about his Hay Fever, he
complained about Bank Machines (he still got dressed up once a week,
spit-shined shoes, best tie, to go to the bank) and he complained about
being old.<br />
<br />
“Friggin’ old age,” I heard him say one day when his arthritis was
acting up and he was in a miserable mood. “I’d like to be 40 again,
that’s when you begin to know something in life.”<br />
<br />
Gordon had all these plans; he wanted to make money, start a
business, buy another house, a car; it was like he had the heart of a
young man, but was trapped in an old man’s body. He was out of time
but didn’t know it.<br />
<br />
I moved out of the house two years later, and only saw Gordon
sporadically after that. To tell you the truth, I didn’t want to see
him; I was afraid of seeing him age, to become doddering and elderly.
So I avoided him. It was an admission of my fear of getting old. So I
eventually lost touch.<br />
<br />
Two years ago I was reading the classified section of my local paper
and came across an obituary for Gordon Burns. Died at age 89.<br />
<br />
The man taught me how to scramble eggs, taught me about war, told me
his whole life story, practically. We drank tea together, played
cards, chess, spent lonely winter nights shooting the bull and
listening to Glenn Miller records. He used to give me hell for that,
wondered why I was listening to that ‘old-fashioned’ music and not
Elvis or something. I suppose I was just trying to relate to him, and
his era, and his time, a time that had long ago passed.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQQhJmMU3gM15hPmLmlCYfu18YmZnzrxno-eVgEVMWiJqlDvekAiw&t=1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQQhJmMU3gM15hPmLmlCYfu18YmZnzrxno-eVgEVMWiJqlDvekAiw&t=1" height="320" id="il_fi" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="293" /></a>I considered that everything that Gordon had known, the music, the
rituals, the language, the people, the traditions, had all vanished by
the time he’d reached 73. And I considered that he knew he was out of
his time, but was afraid to admit it. I considered that I would be
cranky too if all that I’d know and loved had faded into obscurity,
having been replaced by incomprehensible modern day goings-on.<br />
<br />
I now understand Gordon more than I did then.<br />
<br />
I still tell everyone I know about him.<br />
<br />
He lives on. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
And I still smile when I scramble eggs the way he taught me, when I
was a young kid on my own for the first time and not quite sure about
the world. I suppose I’ll be grateful for that forever.<br />
<br /></div>
TheWritersDenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11906707226438261959noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4291026975117583721.post-81867952856331095092012-01-25T20:40:00.000-08:002012-01-26T18:23:54.044-08:00<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://bloggodavid.blogspot.com/2012/01/re-purpose-of-blog-david-hunter-back-in.html"><span style="font-size: x-large;">The Re-Purpose of a Blog | David Hunter</span></a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHxXSdSwmjj_XscOqI0P8enGpMiqH2bZR_p8PGwxN2u_scOu3kazhe9KcETkatMMj_WhkMTv_Y9FzurxTgN-jgGNzys4xnrcGd-rT0JMHvhH-CitL30uCeVRekUSz2ad-20x6DZ98dcFEx/s1600/BloggoPic.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="364" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHxXSdSwmjj_XscOqI0P8enGpMiqH2bZR_p8PGwxN2u_scOu3kazhe9KcETkatMMj_WhkMTv_Y9FzurxTgN-jgGNzys4xnrcGd-rT0JMHvhH-CitL30uCeVRekUSz2ad-20x6DZ98dcFEx/s640/BloggoPic.png" width="640" /></a></div></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>B</b></span>ack in 2009, I started a blog called The Writer’s Den. There was no rhyme or reason to it; I just thought it was a nice name for a site. I gave little thought to my author platform or the future, I just wanted to start sharing my thoughts as soon as possible, damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead. <br />
<br />
And of course, I started writing about ‘writing’, and got pigeon-holed as a 'writing about writing' guy. <br />
<br />
Recently I read a post on Kristen Lamb’s Blog (Forgive me, I cannot find the link) about this very subject. It was unforgiving, and all true; writing about writing is a crutch. It finally convinced me that I had to stop. The reason? It was always a last resort when I couldn’t think of something else to post; It became too easy to dash them off. There are already billions of writing sites – all saying the same stuff, only better. And I got the feeling that my friends were getting tired of the endless babble and shop-talk about the craft, which left non-writers out of the conversation. <br />
<br />
Write about writing, and only writers will read it. Maybe. Possibly. They have their own stuff to worry about – without taking writing lessons from yours truly. <br />
As for friends and non-writers, they ask me about my blog all the time, and I always have to preface it by saying ‘Here it is, but it’s mostly about writing.’ A blank stare ensues. I’ve tried to ‘repurpose’ it, but the damn thing is called ‘The Writer’s Den!’ <br />
<br />
So here we are. I’m not going to shut down the Writer’s Den, or stop posting there completely, but I <i>am</i> starting anew; this blog you are reading, cleverly titled Bloggo David (A play on the Irish-inspired ‘Blog ‘O David’) for instance, will be my new home. I’ll post a variety of things here, including my own cartoons, memes I want to share, guest posts, anything that drifts through my transom. For what is a blog but an expression of one’s inner soul? <br />
<br />
You won’t find writing posts here – that will be reserved for The Writer’s Den. Truthfully, it gets harder and harder to ‘write about writing’, so the future in that regard is fuzzy. I hope you’ll all hop aboard and stay with me here. For, without you, there is no David Hunter, the writer. <br />
<br />
I have to go now – the place is a mess. There are all kinds of things to fix around here. Stop by anytime, comment, or just relax and enjoy. Mi casa est su casa. Or something like that. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHtCOz-SeDhj9yrIDKmANrv3cfrVQjRCWxB75-Q-wKRUoIJ1hjNk-HLtOnhyykSVocc_8A_8dFqyrXokzZFQhLgrQ2eIKVKAehhZZyw9L5h4LiNl2oKx5r4mPv19EdmFOVo1rpSvrwpHCm/s1600/Imprimature.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="66" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHtCOz-SeDhj9yrIDKmANrv3cfrVQjRCWxB75-Q-wKRUoIJ1hjNk-HLtOnhyykSVocc_8A_8dFqyrXokzZFQhLgrQ2eIKVKAehhZZyw9L5h4LiNl2oKx5r4mPv19EdmFOVo1rpSvrwpHCm/s200/Imprimature.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>TheWritersDenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11906707226438261959noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4291026975117583721.post-79421304760854035272012-01-22T17:56:00.000-08:002014-09-13T13:00:55.408-07:00 Inside David Hunter<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: large;"> <b>An Interview By Jill Edmondson</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b>Jill:</b> A while back you did a blog post titled “When is Writing Advice ‘Bad’ Advice”. In the piece you share 10 writing tips, followed by 3 counterclaims. So now, for the record, what is the ONE piece of advice you would offer to aspiring authors, and what was the worst writing tip ever suggested to you?</div>
<br />
<b>David:</b> One day when I was prattling on about my manuscript and my writing, my girlfriend interrupted me and said; ‘Would you please just shut up and write? Finish your book already! Stop talking about it!’ Which basically meant ‘for the love of God, finish something!’ Finish anything; a short story, a novella, a paragraph! Completion is the cheese. Then you can call yourself a writer. Maybe. <br />
<br />
The worst advice I ever received was ‘Only use one exclamation mark per 100 words.’<br />
<br />
<b>Jill:</b> There are a number of writers out there who don’t bother at all with social media. How necessary do you think it is to be active in social media if an author is just starting out?<br />
<br />
<b>David:</b> These days it makes a writer seem either aloof or out of the loop not being on social media talking to their readers. Plus, all your potential readers are online now. Building an audience isn’t like it was in Stephen King’s day – now you have to be a ‘personality’ to stand out, to the chagrin of shy or reclusive artists. Unfortunately the shy writer may be the new James Joyce and get no attention, while the loud and flashy ‘personable’ writer may be a Dan Brown; with apologies to him, of course. I’m not a big fan! <br />
<br />
Ultimately, the work speaks for itself. But unless people know you exist, no one will read it. <br />
<br />
<b>Jill:</b> What can you tell me about your current work in progress?<br />
<br />
<b>David:</b> It’s a novel based on the ‘End of the World’ scenario, following a group of survivors as they struggle with the fact that there’s no more civilization. There is another group of survivors, a decidedly more pessimistic group who walk the earth and kill anyone they find, because they want all humanity to end for good. These two groups meet, eventually, and they must confront each other, and fight it out as it were. The premise being that as long as there are two people left on earth, there will always be war. There’s certain sadness to that, don’t you think? A social satire of sorts. <br />
<br />
I’m also working on a coming of age love story set in 1982 that’ll be published on my blog (and hopefully on Kindle and Kobo) called ‘The Dogwood Summer’. It’s my first foray into this kind of thing, but I wanted to explore the subject of time and love, as they both fascinate me. <br />
<br />
<b>Jill:</b> I took a look at your bookshelf on “GoodReads” and noticed that you only gave one star to “The Da Vinci Code” and one star to “Moby Dick”. What was it about each of these that you didn’t like?<br />
<br />
<b>David:</b> Moby Dick, while a great classic, was written in serial form and published in parts. It was not written as a novel, so there are a multitude of repetitious passages and minutiae to wade through. Moby’s prose doesn’t translate well to modern readers, well, to my generation at least, yet I can read Mark Twain and Jules Verne with ease. As for Dan Brown, I dislike his dialogue, it jags on me, and his writing is rather un-artistic (Yes, I’m a writing snob!). His books seem written with movies firmly in mind, with wooden characters to match. The Da Vinci Code itself has a great idea behind it, but a great idea can be ruined by bad execution. Although in this case his story idea saved it. Dialogue is the key however– if a writer messes that up, it ruins everything for me. Robert Ludlum! You cad! <br />
<br />
<b>Jill:</b> You are a very active blogger. What is it about blogging that appeals to you?<br />
<br />
<b>David:</b> It’s free, and a great way to get my writing out there. And, this is the key, it is instant gratification. I don’t have to wait weeks or months (years even) to publish something. Also, it allows me to experiment with different things; poetry, op-ed, essays, short stories, novellas, serials, and different genres of writing; crime fiction, horror, etc., although I haven’t posted much of it yet. I’m still shy that way. But 2012 seems to be my year; I’ll be posting a lot more fiction. Another great thing about blogging; people get to know you, and you can build a trust there. Then you can get them to read your work a lot easier. <br />
<br />
<b>Jill:</b> Between fiction and nonfiction (and the many subdivisions within each) what type of writing do you enjoy doing the most?<br />
<br />
<b>David:</b> Fiction. Non-fiction can get mired in reality, which can be quite boring, so then you have to exaggerate it, turning it back into fiction. There’s a vicious loop in there somewhere.<br />
<br />
<b>Jill:</b> What is your highest aspiration as an author?<br />
<br />
<b>David:</b> To contribute something lasting to the literary canon. I cite Gene Roddenberry, Stephen King, J.K. Rowling, and even Rod Serling as examples. Each created something that will outlive us all. That’s not asking too much, is it? <br />
<br />
<b>Jill:</b> Which authors do you admire and why?<br />
<br />
<b>David:</b> I have to say, for pure word wizardry, Edward Abbey. I read Desert Solitaire, and some of his descriptive passages took my breath away. The man described the desert sky a dozen times and each was different and fantastic. Not the greatest idea man as far as fiction went (Although his book Brave Cowboy became a movie in 1962) but he knew his way around a phrase (I think a thesaurus was planted in his head). His prose style still shows up in my work a lot. A surprisingly modern writer for his time, he kept a brisk pace and made good use of frags. For learning about the more interesting mechanics of writing, he was invaluable. <br />
<br />
Another influence, Stephen King; too easy, right? But what he contributes is a wonderful myth-making ability. He is able to create stories that become lore; you know, like those campfire tales you heard as a kid that stayed with you because you thought they were real. Not easy to do in fiction. He has a wonderful gravitas, a weight to his story-telling that I try to emulate. There are 5 dozen others, but I won’t go on and on. Those were the first two to come to mind. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Jill:</b> What is one of the strangest/weirdest responses or comments you’ve received from a reader?<br />
<br />
<b>David:</b> In response to a post about ‘writing for an audience or for yourself’, someone wrote “one needs to write for themselves. Its purpose is not to entertain,” which I found strange.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Jill:</b> Last question is kind of a freebie. What question do you wish I had asked but didn’t? Now ask and answer that question.<br />
<br />
<b>David:</b> What does it take to become a successful writer? Well, a lot of reading. Not just reading, studying prose; how authors turn a phrase, how they transition from scene to scene, how they attribute dialogue, pace the story, and build characters. The story idea is important too; the more you read, the more you can steer away from well-trodden and clichéd avenues. There’s a lot to know. Anyone who has ever been successful at anything has studied their craft, knows the rules, and knows their stuff. You gotta train to gain, because there’s a lot of competition out there, and the only way to get ahead is to be prepared. Me, I’m getting there – it’s a journey, not a destination.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUjY1RHDvMabyMVM5l9_IiGpM4WEXZom5s4z2Y65ZneO2VEG7rwXNKc9nXVQhKdeUgklIZqhR3kZWCRSCndCaEhcmFH4s1_E3NS7PUpQyd4YVkiInpPfKZ7tbORKBHxyE6rXLW-WIEgjn-/s1600/BloggoDavidLogo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUjY1RHDvMabyMVM5l9_IiGpM4WEXZom5s4z2Y65ZneO2VEG7rwXNKc9nXVQhKdeUgklIZqhR3kZWCRSCndCaEhcmFH4s1_E3NS7PUpQyd4YVkiInpPfKZ7tbORKBHxyE6rXLW-WIEgjn-/s1600/BloggoDavidLogo.JPG" /></a></div>
TheWritersDenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11906707226438261959noreply@blogger.com1